i can't tell if it's all a sign that i'm supposed to be leaving again soon or what's going on. i mean it's like in the past week everything that could possibly go wrong has and now i'm dealing with the wrath of it all. i dunno.

only 14 weeks until i leave for new zealand. i cannot wait. i am so ready to get out of here and start traveling again. i got an email from a mate in Australia... she heads back home in 4 weeks after spending a year Down Under.

That was the worst feeling ever... the coming home part. Seriously, when my plane landed I started balling. I knew that the adventure, or at least that one was over. It was the finality of it all, the plane finally landing, being back on my home soil after more than 7 months. And I wanted nothing to do with it. I wanted to get back to Oz as fast as possible.

So here I am, only 14 more weeks to go. I think I can handle that...

Subject: The Start Of It All

so i finally figured it out it's the same guy everyday. he just walks up and down the street from one end to the other. and he's always wearing the same thing. i stop to ponder what this man thinks as he walks. always on the same side of the street. everyday without fail he walks. occasionally i nod, usually i just rush past. i usually run into him coming rather than going. but where i he walking to? there must be a point to his journey. or is he truly just walking nowhere but where he is?

these are the dreams i've been having lately. it's wierd. some say it's the pale ale, i say it's the fresh air and fresh perspective. i look up into the clear dark sky and see nothing but stars above me. but these aren't the stars i'm used to, theses are different from any i've ever seen.

i need to start writing all this down. maybe one day it will all come together and make sense. as for now, it's just crazy dreams.

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when i started this journey i had absolutely no idea what i was getting into. i mean sure i did. i new exactly what i was about to undertake and i was ready. you couldn't have stopped me from going. i was making the first major adult decision of my life and it was absoluetly great.

i had just finished one chapter, well two actually- but more about that later, of my life and travelling was about to become the next.

it was time for me to venture out on my own and figure out who exactly i was and who i wanted to be and what type of impact i anted to leave on the world. i had grown up a privileged life and it's not like i was exactly out there on my own, but i sure didn't have a lot of supporters.

i had always known that i was expected to do great things but to be honest, i really couldn't be bothered. maybe that's what happens when you give children everything. they desire nothing so they have no work ethic. adn when it comes time for them to make good on their own they simply float through the motions never really doing anything but manipulating the situation to their advantage. well i wasn't ready to join the real world yet, regardless of what my physical age was. i still had a lot of life in me to figure out before i was ready to settle down and just do one thing. maybe that's the benefit to being given everything you want-- you are also given the opportunity to dream and make those dreams happen.

dreams. it always comes back to dreams.

I'd been to Australia before. it was my high school graduation present. i had quite an adventure. imagine being 18 and let loose on a 14 hour flight where liquor was free. and that was just the start of the trip. imagine going scuba diving for the first time AND getting certified on the great barrier reef. could you ask for a better deal? my family has always been about experiences. you can't take your cash to the grave and what good does it do you sitting in the bank? having a fulfilling life to us, was a life full of experiences, good or bad. I've had some incredible experiences and I'm just getting started in the world... and i'm realizing there's a whole lot out there for me to consume.

maybe it's just here but i notice how unwelcome lonely planet. i keep hearing all these references. i've read the beach. in fact, this is my beach. it is why i'm sitting here writing right now. so lonely planet, what's so lonely about it really? everyday i realize how much smaller and smaller it is and with email today you can keep in touch with anyone anywhere. i was able to hook a finn and kiwi up from the states all via the internet and email. how far is it gonna go? i'm just starting to ramble.

i've always said i wanted to travel every country in the world before I die. It's a big dream, not impossible but will be very difficult to make come true. i still have a lot of waters to traverse to get there.

everybody has a point where one chapter comes to an end and another begins, this is chapter 2 of my life. i mean there have been a lot of sub chapters and side notes in the past 24 years but i feel like i have completely started a new and started over. this is chapter 2 in the book of me.